I have been a funeral director for many years. I think that one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen at a funeral involved a beautifully dressed and very well-spoken African American preacher who was sermonizing at an upscale funeral. The ladies wore hats and veils and gloves, and the men wore black suits and tuxedos. As that minister spoke, he became louder and louder and more and more emotional, only pausing in his sermon to let the members of his congregation shout “Amen, Brother!” and “Praise the Lord!” and, “Thank you, Jesus!”
His message was salvation. He shouted, “Have you been saved?” and when the congregation shouted back, “Yes we have!” he was so carried away on that resounding wave of pure emotion that he yelled, at the very top of his lungs, “Any MOTHER ****ER who has heard the Word and not been saved is just plain dumb-ass STUPID!”
When he said that, the pandemonium of Christian joy turned to a profound and ear-shattering silence. That gutsy preacher paused for a moment, looked out over his shocked flock, and mumbled an awkward apology, which boomed as loud as a cannon shot in the dead-silent chapel, and then he resumed his sermon in a much more subdued voice.
As the funeral director, I was seated in the rear of the room. I noticed that the knuckles on my right hand were bleeding a little where I had bitten them to keep from laughing. The rest of the funeral was relatively uneventful.
Anonymous
