What am I considered?
Since you were still married at the time he passed away, you would be considered his surviving spouse and legal next of kin. The most important issue here is that there is agreement for him to be cremated. While you have the right to authorize cremation and disposition of his remains as his legal next of kin, it sounds like a very delicate family situation where it is definitely recommended that his mother and brother are in agreement with him being cremated.
As for the memorial service, perhaps the best thing here is to plan it with his mother and let her make some decisions about it. Ultimately, you want a service that celebrates his life so maybe planning that with his mother and brother would be the best way to handle it.
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