I knew my husbands ex-mother in-law and we got along well. I also get on well with his ex-wife and attended the boys school events on a few occasions (his ex always invited me and made me part of the boys events). I only know the ex and her mother not the rest of the family. Will it be appropriate for me as the second wife to attend and show my respect?
As long as your husband’s ex-wife is fine with you attending, then you should go and pay your respects since you had a relationship with the ex-mother-in-law.
The important aspect to remember is that you do not ever want to do anything that would upset the family of the deceased. If there is any chance your presence would be distressing to the immediate family, then you should not attend.