What to Wear to a Funeral: A Funeral Attire Guide
Deciding what to wear to a funeral can be tricky. Traditionally, black is considered a safe choice, but it’s not the only choice. The goal is to dress in a way that shows respect so that most dark colors will work. That means avoiding bright colors, flashy prints, and glittery fabrics.
When deciding what to wear to a funeral, it is always best to go modest and conservative. Dressing as if attending a business meeting is a good rule of thumb. However, you should also consider your location, the climate, and the culture of the deceased.
Do’s and Don’ts When Dressing for a Funeral
DO THIS
- Consider where and when the service will be held: A memorial service at a beach will be more casual than a service at a place of worship.
- Use common sense: If you are attending the funeral of someone you know to be quite formal, your attire should likely be more conservative.
- Ask for advice: It is perfectly appropriate to ask an immediate family member or the funeral director for advice on what to wear. The deceased may have specified a preference. For example, someone with a hearty sense of humor may have specified in their funeral plan that they would like everyone to wear green.
- Dress to blend in: We all want to be unique, but a funeral is not the time to stand out. You want to be dressed in the same way as the other mourners.
- Consider the culture: Some cultures have unique traditions when it comes to funeral attire. For example, some Asian cultures prefer white; in some African cultures, red and black are the norm. If the funeral is for someone with a distinct cultural background, it is perfectly acceptable to ask a family member if there is preferred attire.
DON’T DO THIS
- Pick this time to be a rebel: A funeral is a time for everyone to mourn. It is not a time to stand out.
- Underdress: While you are likely to see a range of fashion choices, you are far better off if you are a bit overdressed than underdressed. Step away from the flip-flops!
- Forget why you are there: The whole point of the funeral is to show respect to the deceased. If you choose something respectful, you will be fine.
- Agonize over your choice: Chances are you have something that will work. Just stick to basic dark colors and conservative options. The important thing is that you are there to honor your loved one, friend, or associate. Unless your outfit is over the top or inappropriate, no one is likely even to notice what you are wearing.
Generally, funeral attire etiquette is the same for both men and women: business-type attire that is respectful and conservative. Err on the side of dressing up rather than dressing down. Black or another dark color is almost always appropriate. Be sure to consider the weather and location of the service and consult with a family member of the deceased if you need specific advice.
While it’s true that the standard for funeral dress has become more relaxed over the years, clothing should still be respectful and conservative. Keep in mind that your goal is not to place the focus on you. The best rule of thumb for funeral attire is to dress as you would for a business meeting. Select elements that are respectful and conservative and will not cause a distraction.
What to Wear to a Funeral for Women
- A suit with a dark, solid-colored skirt or pants is a safe choice. You do not have to wear black unless the specific culture dictates it.
- A skirt of appropriate length and a blouse or sweater are usually suitable.
- Flat shoes or pumps are your best choice. Open-toed shoes or sandals may be appropriate depending on the venue and climate.
- Depending on the culture, a hat may be worn.
- Unless there are particular circumstances, jeans are usually considered too casual.
What to Wear to a Funeral for Men
- A suit with a collared shirt, tie, or slacks with a sports coat are safe choices. You are not limited to black; dark, muted colors are generally the best choice.
- Shoes may be casual, but it is best to avoid athletic shoes or sneakers. Flip-flops and sandals are probably not appropriate.
- Avoid jeans (unless the geography or climate dictates them), short-sleeved shirts, and sneakers. Baseball caps are rarely appropriate.
What to Wear to a Funeral for Teens and Children
Teens and children should take their cue from their parents. Church-type, age-appropriate styles that show respect are generally appropriate.
What to Wear to a Funeral: Frequently Asked Questions
No. You don’t have to wear black to a funeral. It’s best to stick with dark, conservative colors. Remember, the goal is to show respect to the person being memorialized, so you’re not trying to draw attention to yourself. You should be fine if you dress as if you are attending a serious business meeting.
As a general rule, jeans are not proper funeral attire. However, how you dress will also depend on local customs, the climate, and the family’s wishes. If you know the family well, you may want to ask. To be on the safe side, opt for slacks over jeans.
In some cultures, white is the traditional choice for funeral attire. If you aren’t sure of the cultural preferences for the funeral you are attending, it’s best to stick with more conventional choices.
While the rules for what to wear to a funeral are more relaxed than in the past, the rule of thumb is still to dress like you would for a business meeting. Unless the climate, customs, and traditions of the family dictate otherwise, it’s best to wear modest, conservative attire.
