Should you snap that funeral selfie?

When a photo taken at a memorial service for Nelson Mandala by Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt was published last December, it caused quite a stir. The picture was of Thorning-Schmidt, President Barak Obama, and Prime Minister David Cameron.

Denmark’s Prime Minister Helle Thorning Schmidt appeared to hold out her smartphone for a three-way selfie at a service honoring Nelson Mandela today in Johannesburg. Obama, who sat to her left, and British Prime Minister David Cameron, who sat to her right, leaned in close for the snap.

Read the full article here: President Obama Poses for Selfie at Nelson Mandela’s Memorial Service

We now know that this particular photo was taken during a portion of the ceremony that was not at all somber and considering the circumstances, the controversy was probably a bit overstated. In fact, other dignitaries did pretty much the same thing (George W. Bush and Bono also took a selfie during the memorial). But the discussion generated by the publication of this photo did leave behind a legacy — the term funeral selfie.

Truth be told, photography at funerals is nothing new. Post-mortem photography was extremely common in the Victorian age and today is actually considered quite an art form. Photographing the desceased was considered to be an important part of the grieving process and the pictures were highly treasured by loved ones. Today funeral photography, while not widespread, is not uncommon.

Modern funeral photos generally focus on the funeral as an event, as opposed to the selfie, where the emphasis is on the face of someone (normally a young person) attending  a  funeral or memorial service. Quite often these pictures are taken while the subject is getting ready to go or is in the car driving to the event. Once the photo is snapped, it is blasted out for the the world to see via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or one of the other popular social media sites.

Whether or not you consider the funeral selfie appropriate is likely to depend on your generation. For young people, who can’t remember a time when there was no such thing as a smart phone, photos like these are just one of the hundreds they post on a weekly basis. For those of us who aren’t quite so used to documenting our every move with a shared photograph, the funeral selfies can seem pretty inappropriate.

Regardless of how you feel about them, the fact of the matter is funeral selfies are likely here to stay.  Psychologists are only now exploring the factors that go  in to the appeal of this form of communication and there are differing opinions on why selfies been so eagerly embraced by the younger generation. So it’s probably best to just give in to the fact that times are changing. If we can’t fight it, we can at least try to spread the word about some of the things you should keep in mind when you are preparing to snap that funeral photo.

Funerals and memorials take on a different meaning from culture to culture; some are very somber, others quite celebratory. It is our duty to be sensitive to the entire moment and in some cases it might be difficult to tell what that requires. Here’s a handy rule of thumb: To avoid offending, err on the side of caution and just hold off on that selfie until the funeral has ended.

Read the full article here: What’s the etiquette of ‘selfies’ at funerals?

If you do decide to take a funeral selfie, ask permission of the family. Keep in mind that those attending the funeral may be going through a wide range of emotions and have the expectation that they are in a private place. This is particularly true if you are in the area where a casket is on display or if you are graveside. As a selfie-taker you may not be aware of what is happening in the background. Even if you have permission, be cautious before posting your photo to social media. And by all means, make sure  there is nothing behind you that could be hurtful or misinterpreted. Better yet, think twice before sharing your selfie on social media. It is ALWAYS better to skip the posting altogether and just hold the photo for your personal use.

TIPS FOR TAKING A FUNERAL SELFIE

• Ask permission (especially if you are inside the funeral or memorial site). Yes, they may say no but if so, you can find a more private location for the selfie.
• Be aware of what is going on around you. Those attending the funeral may not want to be photographed.
• Watch the background! There may be something there that the bereaved consider very private.
• Think twice before sharing widely on social media. Remember that even if you are using a temporary sharing service like Snapchat, your photo can be captured and reshared.

For more information visit the funeral etiquette pages on Funeralwise.com.

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