JFK and the 3 most horrible assassinations you’ve never heard of

Last week marked the 38th anniversary of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, an event that only grows more epic with time.

Several new books address the assassination, including one by horror guru Stephen King, entitled, 11/22/63, about a Maine school teacher who travels back in time in an attempt to stop Lee Harvey Oswald from killing Kennedy. While JFK’s death still burns bright in the mind of Americans it is only one in a long list of historic assassinations. Some of them are even more complex and vicious than the simple case of a “lone gunman.”

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Ehud ben-Gera and King Eglon – In the year 1200 B.C., according to the Book of Judges, an Israelite named Ehud ben-Gera was sent by God to assassinate the Moabite King Eglon. Ehud had blacksmiths craft an 18 inch long double-edged sword which he concealed under his clothing, strapped to his right thigh. He traveled under the pretext of delivering the Israelites’ annual tribute. Upon meeting, Ehud told the king he had a secret message for him. Eglon dismissed his attendants and Ehud drew his sword and stabbed him in the abdomen. The blade tore out Eglon’s intestines and caused him to leak excrement. He was so fat the sword actually disappeared in the wound. Ehud left it there, locked the door to the king’s chamber and escaped to the town of Seriah, where he sounded the shofar and rallied the Israelite tribes for an all-out attack against Moab.

Cassius Chaerea and Caligula – Cassius Chaerea was a professional soldier in the Roman Army and bodyguard for the lascivious emperor Caligula. Although Caligula built several important aqueducts and expanded the Roman Empire into Mauretania he was considered by many to be a self-absorbed braggart and insane. He slept with other men’s wives and wasted money on useless bridges and personal statues while his people starved. Once, at games at which he was presiding, he ordered an entire section of the crowd to be eaten by animals during intermission because there were no criminals to be prosecuted and he was bored. Such ineptitude angered Cassius, who was also mad at the constant jokes Caligula made about a wound he suffered to his genitalia while serving Caligula’s father, Germanicus. At games held in Rome in late January Cassisus murdered Caligula. Conspirators in the Roman Senate killed Caligula’s wife and daughter. Unfortunately for Cassisus the entire family was not exterminated, Caligula’s uncle, Claudius, became emperor and had Cassisus killed. He requested to be executed with his own murder weapon, a wish that was granted.

Balthasar Gerard and William the Silent – No assassin suffered a more gruesome fate than Balthasar Gerard, who on July 10, 1584, shot and killed the popular Dutch independence leader, William the Silent (William I of Orange). Gerard had snuck into the royal chambers and hid in a dark corner. As William’s sister attended to her dying brother Gerard fled through a side door and ran across a narrow lane towards the palace walls. His plan was to jump into the moat, using a pig’s bladder wrapped around his waist to keep him afloat but he stumbled over a pile of trash and was caught by one of William’s servants. Gerard underwent a preliminary examination before the city magistrates, who decreed his right hand should be burned off with a red-hot iron, his flesh torn from his bones with pincers in six different places, that he should be quartered and disemboweled, then, while still alive, his heart ripped from his chest and flung in his face.

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What actually happened was even worst. He was hung from a pole and lashed with a whip. His wounds were smeared with honey and a goat—the animals have sharp tongues—was brought in to lick the honey off. Gerard was left the night with his hands and feet bound together in a ball, making sleep impossible. Over the next three days, he was repeatedly hung on a pole in this manner. Then a weight of 300 metric pounds was attached to each of his big toes for half an hour. After this, shoes made of raw well-oiled, dog’s leather, two sizes too small, were put on his feet, which were then put before a fire, causing the shoes to warm up and contract even further, reducing his feet to useless stumps. His armpits were branded and he was dressed in a shirt soaked in alcohol, then doused with burning bacon fat. After four days of torture, he died. All the sudden Oswald’s fate, killed by a gunshot to the abdomen fired by Dallas nightclub owner Jack Ruby, doesn’t seem so bad.

Disgusted by what they did to Balthasar Gerard? Remember where you were the day JFK was assassinated? Leave a comment below..