Say This, Not That! When Someone Loses A Pet

When someone you care about loses a beloved pet, you want to be there to offer support. Finding the right words can be challenging. Of course, you don’t want to add to the pain your friend or loved one is feeling, but it’s easy to fall into the trap of offering clichés or platitudes. It’s best to let the person know you are there to listen and provide whatever help they may need.

To avoid some of the most common mistakes people make when comforting a friend or loved one who has lost a pet, review our “say this, not that” list.

DON'T SAY: It's not like you lost a child.

INSTEAD SAY: I know you cared very much for [pet's name].

DON'T SAY: Oh well, it was only a dog (cat, bunny, etc.)

INSTEAD SAY: You must miss [pet's name] very much. He/she was part of the family.

DON'T SAY: So, when are you getting another animal?

INSTEAD SAY: What can I do to help?

DON'T SAY: He's better off now. It's for the best.

INSTEAD SAY: You did everything you could.

DON'T SAY: You'll feel better soon.

INSTEAD SAY: He/she was so lucky to have you.

DON'T SAY: I know exactly how you feel.

INSTEAD SAY: Tell me more about [pet's name].

DON'T SAY: You must feel awful.

INSTEAD SAY: She/he couldn't have asked for a better owner.

DON'T SAY: Get over it.

INSTEAD SAY: I'm so sorry.

DON'T SAY: Don't cry.

INSTEAD SAY: Why don't you tell me how you're feeling?

DON'T SAY: It's a good thing you have other animals.

INSTEAD SAY: It's totally understandable that you are grieving right now.

How we feel when losing a treasured pet can be complicated and not everyone understands how difficult it can be, especially if they have never gone through it. For more information on dealing with the loss of a pet or helping someone recover, visit our Pet Loss Page.

Pet Loss: Say This, Not That

DON’T SAY: It’s not like you lost a child.
–>INSTEAD SAY: I know you cared very much for [pet’s name].

DON’T SAY: Oh well, it was only a dog.
–>INSTEAD SAY: You must miss [pet’s name] very much. He/she was part of the family.

DON’T SAY: So, when are you getting another animal?
–>INSTEAD SAY: What can I do to help?

DON’T SAY: He’s better off now. It’s for the best.
–>INSTEAD SAY: You did everything you could.

DON’T SAY: You’ll feel better soon.
–>INSTEAD SAY: He/she was so lucky to have you.

DON’T SAY: I know exactly how you feel.
–>INSTEAD SAY: Tell me more about [pet’s name].

DON’T SAY: You must feel awful.
–>INSTEAD SAY: She/he couldn’t have asked for a better owner.

DON’T SAY: Get over it.
–>INSTEAD SAY: I’m so sorry.

DON’T SAY: Don’t cry.
–>INSTEAD SAY: Why don’t you tell me how you’re feeling?

DON’T SAY: It’s a good thing you have other animals.
–>INSTEAD SAY: It’s totally understandable that you are grieving right now.